Broken and Screwed (The BS Series Book 1) Read online

  I scooted up against the headboard and gathered my comforter around me. I hugged it over my breasts. As I watched him, I felt helpless. He had to go. That was the deal. I tried to stop myself from asking the question of when he was returning. No good would come from that answer.

  So I heaved a deep breath. “Someone asked me out tonight.”

  Jesse stopped what he was doing. The shirt he’d been about to pull over his head fell to the side and he sat at the end of the bed. His voice was low. “Who?”

  “Eric Nathan.”

  “Oh.”

  What did that mean? Did it mean anything at all? My chest was tight as I asked, “What are you thinking?”

  He snorted and pulled his shirt over his head. His movements were rough and he jerked his shoes on.

  “Jesse?”

  He snapped, “What’s your problem? We screw. That’s all we do. I don’t give a shit if you’re dating my replacement.”

  “Your replacement?”

  He started for the door, but I hurried and got there first. I pressed my back against the door and held the handle tightly behind me.

  He stopped an inch from me, but stared past my shoulders. He refused to meet my gaze. He clipped out, “Let me leave.”

  “What do you mean replacement?”

  His hand ran over his head in a frustrated manner. He seethed, “Come on. Let me leave.”

  My heart was pounding. When wasn’t it? And then I gulped. It was calm whenever I was in his arms. I almost groaned at that thought, but rasped out, “Jesse, you don’t mean for me? Do you?”

  He chuckled and shook his head. Arrogance came over him. “Nah, Alex. I meant in basketball. He was second string forward, my alternate. The dipshit never played a game last year. He’s going to tank this year.” The smirk grew ugly. “Now I’m glad I ruined that sport for him. He can’t touch my records. I’d love for him to try. And everyone’s going to hope he’ll lead them to state champs. When he won’t, they’ll hate him. I couldn’t have planned that better.”

  My heart sank. Of course he hadn’t meant for me.

  He reached around me, but I didn’t give him a fight. I was shifted to the side and he slipped through. When the door was going to slide to a quiet close, his hand stopped it and he poked his head around the door. “Don’t let him screw you.”

  Before I could ask what exactly he meant by that, he was gone. I went to the window. It wasn’t long before I saw him dart past my window and hurry to the Ferrari parked in front of the neighbors’ house. He’d left through the back door, which meant my parents hadn’t known he was there. I shouldn’t have been surprised. They would’ve torn the door down if they had. He was the closest reminder of Ethan. No matter how far they slipped into their numbed and dazed states, I knew they’d snap out of them for him. My parents loved Jesse more than they loved me.

  It was something I learned after the funeral and I was okay with it now. Hell. I loved Jesse more than myself. I couldn’t blame my parents at all.

  I stayed in the next day. Angie came over at one point to rant about the meaning of friendship, but she didn’t last long. Both of my friends had stopped visiting since Ethan’s death and I didn’t blame them. There was an empty feeling in my home. I had grown used to it and was now almost comforted by it. I knew that was sad and twisted, but it was beyond my control. So when Angie started checking her phone and glancing at the door after an hour in my room, I knew she’d felt the itch to go.

  After she left, I huddled in my bed and stayed there. One movie turned into two, turned into three, and after the fourth, my stomach growled so loudly that I was forced to leave for the kitchen. Once I was down there, I stopped in the foyer.

  There was no sound in the living room.

  I circled through the first floor of our little house. Every room was empty. The basement was the same, and then, my heart starting to pound, I went upstairs. The bathroom was empty. My parents’ master bedroom was empty. The room Jesse always used was empty as well, and the last room was Ethan’s. His door was closed. It had been over a year now. My hand started to tremble, but I pushed open the door.

  His black comforter was pulled straight over his bed. His pillows were piled high, along with the bag he had left on his bed that last day.

  I drew in a shuddering breath.

  It’d been a little over a year. I couldn’t believe it.

  After entering the room, I shut the door again and backed up to the wall.

  I hadn’t gone into his room since his funeral and I couldn’t make myself even look around it now. His presence was so overwhelming; I felt as if he was in here, maybe on his bed, and he had looked up at my arrival. He always did that when I’d push open the door for some question or a stupid excuse to see if Jesse was with him. Some days he’d tell me to leave, but other days he’d welcome my arrival.

  I gasped out loud and tried to draw in another breath.

  Then the tears started. Why did I feel him? Why did it seem as if he were right next to me? Then the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up.

  I had to get out of there.

  I shot to my feet and sprinted from the hallway. I grabbed my purse, my coat, and I was out the door within moments.

  I still felt him.

  As I got into my car, my fingers were clumsy and I dropped the keys twice. After the third time while I gritted my teeth, I was able to turn the engine on. And then my phone went off. I jumped and gasped again. My eyes grew blurry as I reached for it. When I read Marissa’s name on the screen, I sighed from relief.

  Slowly, the world returned to focus and my heart stopped pounding in my ear. I was able to see once more.

  As I hit the answer button, I collapsed against my seat and sighed, “Yeah?”

  “Oh my gosh.” Marissa drew in her own breath. “Thank God you answered me. I’ve been calling you all night. I’m so, so, so sorry about Jesse. I really am.”

  “What happened to Cord last night?” I didn’t want to hear anything she had to say about Jesse.

  “Wait, what? What are you talking about?”

  There was my answer. “Nothing. Never mind.”

  “Wait, did something happen to Cord last night? He dropped me off and was going to pick me up later. I was supposed to sneak out since my parents have become wack crazy with me lately, but he never showed. Did something happen? I assumed he ditched.” Her voice raised a note. “Oh, my gosh. What if something did happen? I’m so horrible. I was cursing at him all night and I even defriended him on Facebook.”

  I regretted saying anything now.

  “Alex, did something happen? Please tell me what you know. You know something, otherwise you wouldn’t have asked about him. What happened? Please, please, please don’t make this about you and me. I messed up. I am a horrible, horrible friend. I never should’ve called Jesse, but if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with Cord. Please tell me!”

  I sat back up again. My voice was quiet. “You love him?”

  “Yes!” she cried out. “I didn’t realize it until last night, and it was the most bittersweet night for me. I knew I might’ve lost you as a friend, but I realized that I loved Cord, and then I thought he ditched me, you know the rest. Please, tell me!”

  I shook my head. I could already hear Angie’s protests, but I tuned them out. “He was arrested last night.”

  “What?! How? What happened?”

  “I don’t know. That’s all I know.”

  “Alex,” she pleaded.

  “That’s really all I know.”

  “Wait, how do you even know that? Cord was going to see some of his old friends. Do you know Jeremy Benson and James Mazel? They graduated two years ahead of us.”

  “No, I don’t know them.” But I knew of them. They were the gods of the school before Jesse firmly took that reign over last year. I should’ve remembered they were friends with Cord. But I remembered now they were known to break a law or two.

  My heart shuttered. I didn’t w
ant Jesse mixed up with them.

  “I have to go, Marissa.”

  “What? Wait! What?”

  But I hung up over her pleads and turned my car onto the road. My life might’ve been frozen at a standstill over the last year, but I wasn’t going to let Jesse let his go down the drain. He might’ve been an ass at times, but he was a gifted ass and he was meant for better things than the rest of us. I felt that in my bones.

  My palms were sweaty as I drove to Jesse’s house. And I felt ready to vomit at any moment. Everything in me was queasy and quivering. I took a deep breath as I pulled into their driveway. When I got outside, I smoothed my hands down my clothes. It was then that I cursed at myself. I was still dressed in my pajama pants and sweatshirt.

  Good one, Alex.

  I made a note to pack an extra bag of clothes for the next time I felt haunted by Ethan’s presence.

  And then I knew I had to stop stalling, so I marched up the front steps and rang the doorbell. Like the last time, their housekeeper answered the door, but unlike the last time, she shook her head at me. “Not here, Miss Alex. He not here. He here.” And she shoved a piece of paper in my hand.

  I looked down and saw an address scribbled on it. When I looked back up to ask more questions, the door had already been closed.

  Well, then.

  I retraced my steps and turned my car around. It took me thirty minutes, but I followed the direction from my phone after I searched for the address online. Finally, I pulled up to a large brick home. Every window had light shining from it and I heard male voices and bass music as I got out of my car.

  “Alex?”

  I turned. Marissa was at the end of the driveway. She frowned at me as she pulled at the end of her hair with a hand.

  She always did that when she was nervous.

  “Hey.” I crossed the street to her. “Whose house is this?”

  “Jeremy Benson’s.” Disgust flared over her face. “I can’t believe Cord is friends with him. He’s become a loser. All he does is work at his dad’s company and hang out at The Pub every night.”

  “Cord’s in there?”

  She sighed and dropped her hand from her hair. “I’m really sorry, Alex. I really am. I was just stupid and insecure. I kept calling Jesse like a stalker. I think a part of me hated the idea that you could get a guy I couldn’t, and I know, I know. That makes me sound like scum. I am scum. I am. I will do anything to make it up to you. I swear!”

  She stopped and held her breath.

  I didn’t say anything. What could I say to that?

  Then her head dropped. “And can you believe the worst part of it? I got his number from your phone.” A pathetic giggle escaped her lips. “He doesn’t even give his number out anymore, but I knew you would have it. That’s how sad I’ve become as a friend.”

  I didn’t know if it was the tear she wiped away or the hitch in her voice, but I crumbled. I wasn’t one to hold grudges, but I knew I had let her back in. “Stop blubbering. I got it.”

  “Really?” She wiped a second tear again as her face lit up.

  I nodded. I wasn’t going to hug her or anything, but I knew we’d be okay again.

  “Oh, thank God,” she breathed out in relief. “I was so scared that you were going to do the distance thing to me. I’ve seen you do it and it scares the hell out of me.”

  “Distance thing?”

  She nodded and wiped a third tear that slipped down her cheek away. “Uh huh. You don’t ever get mad at people, but you freeze them out. Once you put up a wall to someone, you don’t take it down. I was so scared that you were going to do that to me.”

  “That makes me sound horrible.”

  “Oh, no, Alex. Please, no. I don’t want you to think that. It’s just you.” A sudden understanding came over her.

  I backed away. I didn’t want her to understand me. I didn’t want anyone to understand me.

  Her eyes widened, but then her arms dropped to her sides. And she forced a bright smile on. “Okay. So, are you going in there with me? I came over to make sure Cord was okay and chew him out for not calling me. I called Amanda Sherman. Her mom works at the station and she was there waiting for her to get off work last night. She said that she saw Jeremy and James Hazel get arrested, too.”

  “Oh.”

  “Wait, why are you here?” Her eyes narrowed. “You didn’t come to chew Cord out for me?”

  I bit the inside of my lip. I could’ve taken that, but I knew she’d see him anyways. I shook my head. “No. I came because of—”

  “Marissa?”

  We whirled around. My heart was in my throat, but I relaxed. Cord was coming from around the house with his arm around a slim blonde. She wore skintight white jeans and a bright blue top that flowed over her breasts. They were clearly outlined underneath and it was obvious she wore no bra.

  Marissa drew upright. A grim look came over and her eyes hardened. “Are you kidding me?”

  “What?” He glanced at the girl who hung on him. “This is Ariella. Have you met her before?”

  Marissa’s neck vein stood out. For a second, I waited for her to launch herself at him. She wouldn’t go after the girl, she’d go after him and I already knew I’d back her up. My arms fell down. My knees bent slightly and I loosened my muscles, ready for anything.

  “Cord told me he was so nice to go to your little school dance with you. That’s so sweet of him.” The girl tipped her head back and flipped the platinum hair over her shoulder.

  Marissa bared her teeth.

  “I just gave him a reward for being so sweet to you,” Ariella laughed.

  The sound traveled down my spine. It was sugary sweet and so fake I had a hard time holding back some laughter. The girl was a plastic bimbo. It was so clear that I wondered why Marissa hadn’t unleashed her claws and verbally stripped the girl down. She could do it. I had witnessed many times where I had been uncomfortable by how far she would take the verbal beating.

  And then she drew back and turned away.

  “What?” My mouth fell open as I watched her walk away. Her head was down and she hugged herself as she hurried to her car.

  It wasn’t long before she drove away.

  And then my claws came out. I turned around with heated eyes and glared at Cord. “Are you kidding me?!”

  The bimbo giggled with delight, but Cord’s smirk dropped an inch. “What?” He glared back at me. “Your friend is hot. What do you expect from me? I wanted to bang her and I did. I never pretended otherwise with her. She knew exactly what I was about when I got a ride down here.”

  “Why did you agree to go to the dance with her? If that’s what you were after, why play it up as some romantic gesture?”

  “What romantic dance? I was coming anyway. The dance happened to be the same weekend Hunt was coming, so I told her sure. She knew this wasn’t anything more than a hook up.” He rolled his eyes and then patted the bimbo’s rear. “Come on, Ariella.” As they walked past, he saluted me. “See you later, Princess.”

  When they got into a car and drove off, it was then that I felt the cold air for the first time. I shivered under my coat and hurried to the door. Then I really thought about what I was doing there. I didn’t know if Jesse was actually there. And this was a stranger’s house. This was Jeremy Benson’s house. He was a criminal.

  I wanted to throw my hands in the air from frustration, but then I pushed away all the nerves and pressed the doorbell.

  It wasn’t long before it was thrown open. Some guy in only jeans stood there with a dazed smirk on his face. His hair fell over his eyes and he yelled over his shoulder, “It’s a girl!”

  A smatter of laughter sounded from inside. Someone yelled back, “Is she hot?”

  He looked me up and down. “Yep!”

  “Then bring her in!”

  More faces peered around the corner and one of them scrunched up in shock. “Holy hell! That’s Ethan Connor’s sister.”

  The guy straightened abruptly. His c
ocky demeanor vanished. “Oh, hi. I’m Nick. I didn’t know who you were.” Then he gestured inside. “You can come in, if you want.”

  I stepped inside. He flattened himself against the wall so there were a few feet between us and closed the door behind me. “Uh, so do you want something to drink?”

  “She ain’t twenty one, Jr.”

  “Oh, yeah.” He grinned at me, flustered at the same time. “I think we got soda. Jer!”

  “What?”

  “We got anything that ain’t alcoholic?”

  “You want to mix something?” The voice sounded from down a hallway. It was growing closer. “Otherwise why would you want something that ain’t alcoholic?”

  I turned.

  Jeremy Benson stood in front of me. His jeans were ripped and unbuttoned. As I glanced around the living room and kitchen, there were a bunch of guys who weren’t wearing shirts. Most of them were lean and tanned. A few were built like body builders, but all of them had a beer in hand. The handful of girls I counted dressed similar to the bimbo from outside. Revealing shirts and revealing pants, if they wore pants at all.

  “Hey.” Nick lifted his chest up and pointed at me. “This is Ethan Connor’s sister.”

  “So?” Jeremy skimmed me over with a sneer. He was tall and still had an athletic physique, but he had a military style haircut. “I’m not surprised Connor’s sister grew up to be hot. You sure you don’t want something good to drink? We’ve got beer, darling, but I’ve got some good old fashioned whiskey too. That’s what Barbie drinks.”

  “Barbie?”

  He pointed into the kitchen and a girl with smoky eyes and dirty blonde hair lifted a hand. “Hi, there.” Her voice was hoarse and she grimaced. “I’m a little hungover. Any friend or relative of Connors is welcomed around here.”

  “Why?”

  She frowned, but looked over my shoulder.

  Jeremy belched out a laugh. He scratched idly at his chest. “What do you mean why?”

  “I don’t remember any of you being friends with Ethan.”

  Then a wide smile spread over his face and he burst out laughing. Nick laughed with him, along with Barbie and a few others. He shook his head and coughed to clear his throat as his continued to laugh. “Man, I haven’t had a good one like that.”