Jaden Read online

  In that moment, I felt like it was them versus me. Fuck me. I’d lose if that were the case. Rolling my shoulders back, I lifted my chin. “What?”

  A wall slid over Corrigan’s face, and Bryce rolled his eyes. He muttered, “Are you kidding me?”

  “Look,” I started, “I don’t want to talk about it.” I gestured around the room. “You’re here. I hate my dad, but his place is kick-ass. Can we put on a movie and forget about real life for two hours?”

  “No.”

  Corrigan muttered, “That’ll make it more awkward.”

  “I’m not enjoying this conversation.”

  “Are you supposed to?” Bryce shot back at me.

  I was startled by the fierceness in his tone and saw that Corrigan seemed to agree with him. Both were staring back at me with heated expressions.

  “No.” I took a breath, readying myself. This conversation was going to happen. “Okay. Fine. I don’t know what to say. Nothing’s changed.”

  They glanced at each other, and Corrigan said, “I think we just want to know what page we’re all on.”

  I loved them both. That was the page, but I said, “You never shared your page with me, so I have no idea.”

  Bryce backed up a step.

  Corrigan frowned. “And I said I didn’t want to say anything until you—”

  “Just fucking tell her,” Bryce cut in. His shoulders were so rigid. “He loves you. I love you. And you haven’t picked one yet.”

  Oh god. A sick sensation shot through me, all the way down to my feet. We were back to this, but who was I fooling? I needed to choose, but I couldn’t lose the other one.

  They were both waiting, watching me.

  I pressed a hand to my stomach. “I can’t, you guys. I can’t pick, especially now. I need both of you.”

  “Sheldon,” Bryce’s voice softened, and he glanced sideways to Corrigan, “I think we’ll both agree that the other one won’t leave. We love you, and we wouldn’t want to be anywhere else during this thing. We need you as much as you need us.”

  I shook my head. I couldn’t. I didn’t even know myself. “Guys . . . please . . .”

  “You need to pick.” Corrigan stepped forward. “It’s not fair to us. You know that.”

  “No.”

  Bryce cast Corrigan a look. “I think we can wait, at least during this time. I know I won’t be able to go anywhere anyway.”

  Corrigan turned back to him. “Are you serious? You’re okay with just waiting and not knowing?”

  “What’s the alternative?” Bryce gestured to me. “She doesn’t know. Look at her. You can see the panic in her eyes.”

  I frowned. He was right.

  He continued, “She needs both of us, Cor. If she picks me, would you really stick around? I would, but damn, it would hurt. This isn’t about us anyway. It’s about what Sheldon needs.”

  Corrigan bit out, “Easy for you to say. You’re the one she’ll probably be screwing while she sneaks into my bed to be held.” A nerve on the side of his jaw clenched outward. “I don’t know about you, but that’s a different torture all on its own.”

  “You’d rather have her pick? During this time? She’ll feel cut off from the other one, and I’m sorry, but if she’s found guilty, this might be our last time to spend with her. I don’t want it defined and not be able to hold her.”

  My eyes got big. A new surge of panic drenched my insides with ice water. “Guilty?”

  He swiftly turned to me. “I didn’t mean that, but.” He paused, looking down at the ground. “Someone set you up, Sheldon. What if we can’t find out who did that? What then? I’m just . . . if you pick Corrigan, I can’t spend this time with you and not be able to hold you.” An anguished tone came to him. “Maybe that’s me being selfish, but I can’t do that. Even if you pick Corrigan, I still won’t be able to stay away.”

  He held my gaze. Even though a few feet separated us, I felt like I was in the palm of his hand. He was holding me, stroking me, making me feel safe. Making me feel loved. My chest tightened. Then it exploded inside me. I loved Bryce. I never stopped, but it had been shoved down and numbed. With that, memories of our past came at me, and I was right back there on the day Marcus was in my home. I closed my eyes, but images of Corrigan stabbed and bleeding on the floor wouldn’t go away. That sickening feeling. Fearing for his life, wondering if my best friend was going to die, knowing the guy responsible was still in my home, and he was going to get away.

  I wanted to hunt him down, like he had hunted me down. The need for revenge, to take his life, had overwhelmed me. Bryce, too. He turned the tape off when I found Marcus and provoked him. It looked like self-defense, but the truth was, that I had killed him.

  Oh god. I didn’t want to remember that day, what we had done, what I had done. I turned away.

  “Sheldon.” Bryce started for me.

  I shot a hand up, stopping him. “Don’t. Please. Don’t.”

  My shoulders lifted up and down, as I tried not to dry-heave. We killed him. Together. I’d been trying to forget that day for years, but I couldn’t. I loved Bryce, but I couldn’t forget what we had done, and the two were intertwined. That’s why I put so much distance between us. If loving Bryce meant remembering that day, I had chosen to forget one if it meant forgetting the other, but my god, I couldn’t forget how much I loved Bryce. It had never gone away, and just now, just this look from him, had unlocked the box again.

  I took gasping breaths, trying to get ahold of myself and the storm that had been unleashed inside me. As I did, I glanced up. They were both waiting. Differing levels of concern were on their faces, but they had no idea what I was enduring.

  “Please,” I rasped out. “I want to forget.” Marcus’ death.

  They nodded, thinking I was asking to forget about Grace.

  I didn’t clarify that. I didn’t want to.

  Corrigan went to grab some blankets as Bryce got some alcohol. Both of them went to the middle couch and waited for me. I settled down, and they sat on either side of me. I was stiff at first, wave after wave of blind terror was crashing down on me, but then Bryce pulled one of my legs over his lap and he started rubbing my thigh. It wasn’t in a sexual manner, but a comforting one. He was trying to reassure me, and after a moment, it started to work. Some of my tension smoothed out. Then I felt Corrigan lift his arm, and he pulled my head into the crook of his shoulder, underneath his arm. I closed my eyes, feeling both of them there, both of them trying to take care of me.

  It was true. I needed both of them. I loved them both, but I couldn’t think about choosing. They were both my best friends, and that’s what I needed most in that moment.

  *

  “Sheldon.”

  I grew aware of Corrigan saying my name. His shoulder nudged my head gently. He said, “Hey.”

  Bryce spoke over me, “She needs to sleep.”

  I’d fallen asleep, and as they kept talking, a lull was settling back over me. It was like a large blanket, enfolding all around me, making me feel warm and peaceful. I was falling back asleep, but I heard Corrigan murmur, “I know. You want to carry her?”

  “You’re still hurting from the accident?” As Bryce asked that, I felt myself lifted in the air. I was pulled tightly against a warm chest, a very solid, warm chest, and I could hear his heart under my head.

  He stood and Corrigan said quietly from beside us, “Yeah. My ribs still ache at times, and my shoulder blade feels weird, too.”

  “All the time?”

  “Nah. It comes and goes.” His voice sounded a little clearer. “It’ll get better. I don’t know why it still hurts. The doctors said I’m healed.”

  Bryce tightened his hold on me, securing me even closer against him. “Do you know where we’re going?”

  Corrigan laughed softly. “No clue. This place is huge. I don’t remember how to get back to her room or even ours.”

  “Our rooms are right next to hers.” But Bryce paused, standing still. “Maybe we sh
ould just sleep in the theater?”

  “And if she snuggles up to one of us?”

  “Then she snuggles up to one of us. It’s whoever she needs.” Bryce’s tone dipped down. “What’s your problem? I thought we agreed on that.”

  “I know. I just,” Corrigan hesitated, “she’s going to pick you. I can see it. She loves you so much she’s scared of it.”

  “You don’t know that.” Bryce stiffened underneath me. “Trust me, you don’t know that. She might like to get fucked by me, but she goes to you for the emotional stuff. You don’t think that kills me?”

  “Bryce,” Corrigan started, wariness in his tone.

  “Stop, Corrigan. She loves both of us. You might only see how she feels about me, but I see how she feels about you. Whoever she chooses is the one she can’t be without, but she loves both of us.”

  The heaviness from sleep was fading. The more they talked, the more awake I became, but I didn’t want to wake up. I just wanted to sleep, to remain where I felt sheltered. Safe.

  “Knowing Sheldon, she’ll toss a fucking coin.”

  Bryce laughed. “That would suck, but yeah, I could see that.”

  “Denton called me earlier. I hope she doesn’t pick him because she can’t pick between us.”

  A low groan came from his chest, right where my head was resting. “He called me too, and fuck that, but I could see her doing that.” He paused and murmured, “I hope not.” He said that so quietly, with so much emotion, that it jolted me wide-awake. I knew without a doubt I would be haunted by his tone of voice just now.

  “Hey.” Bryce shifted and looked down at me. “You awake?”

  I didn’t open my eyes, but grumbled, “Your lack of faith in me is pissing me off.”

  Corrigan laughed from the side. “Yeah, well, we didn’t want you think you could just use us to help you fall asleep every night.”

  I squirmed in Bryce’s arm, getting more comfortable. My eyes were still closed. “Fuck that. Isn’t that why you two are here? To help me sleep?” I grinned, teasing them, but I didn’t want to look. I still didn’t want to deal with the truth of what they were talking about.

  “Ha-ha, Sheldon.”

  Bryce asked, “Where do you want to sleep?”

  “In my bed.” And with that said, I knew I’d have to open my eyes. After directing them to my room, I sent both of them away. No matter what was said, I knew it wasn’t fair to use one for comfort and not the other. They were right. I did need to choose, but fuck, at the same time, I couldn’t.

  Both Bryce and Corrigan frowned at me from the hallway. I stood in my bedroom. The door was open between us, but we were all in a standoff. I lifted an eyebrow. “What?” My hand gripped the door, but I wasn’t sure if it was to shut it or to hold me up.

  “You’re sure about this?”

  I nodded. “You both are right. It feels weird to sleep with both of you, and I shouldn’t lean on one and not the other. It’s not right so I’m going to be sleeping alone from now on.” I had been since Grace’s murder, but knowing they were so close and saying those words aloud solidified it for me. I would’ve been tempted to crawl into one of their beds. It wasn’t right. I needed them right now, but I needed to think about them, too.

  I tried to smirk at them, but it failed. “I’ll see you both in the morning then.” That was meant as a joke, but there was nothing teasing about the statement or about how I said it. A knot was in my stomach, and as I stared back at them, it tightened. “Okay. Well. Goodnight.”

  They both continued to frown at me.

  Feeling just all sorts of weirdness about this situation, I didn’t know what else to do so I did the logical next thing.

  I shut the door in their faces. Then I crawled into bed and didn’t sleep for the rest of the night.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  I was tired the next day. I was tired the day after and the day after that. In fact, I was tired the entire week and the week after that, too. The thing that pissed me off was that I was the only one. I swear. Bryce and Corrigan seemed to have renewed their friendship. They were all about the hugging, laughing, slugging each other’s shoulders, and they even started to have their own inside jokes.

  Gag me.

  Their cheerful attitudes wore off on Neil and Beth. My dad always adored Bryce so he seemed in heaven having him here. I could tell he got over whatever issue he had before allowing my friends to the house, and Beth, I didn’t think she could prance any more around the house before it turned into a skip. She was giddy with Corrigan. It took me another week before I finally got it.

  I was sitting outside on the patio lounger, watching both of them in deep conversation with Neil and Beth. Bryce was sitting under the shade, nodding at whatever my dad was saying and using his arms to make gestures. I heard the word ‘soccer’ a couple of times and ‘football’ the rest of the time so it didn’t take a genius to figure out what they were talking about, but then I turned to the grilling area. Beth and Corrigan had their heads bent over a mixing bowl. He was wearing the apron she handed him, both in matching pink frilly aprons, and when she pointed to a garnish, he picked it up and broke it into pieces into the large bowl. After giving him an approving grin, she handed it over, and he resumed whisking it, smirking a little to himself. He glanced up, caught my gaze, and his eyes widened. He looked like he got caught at something.

  I frowned.

  They’d both been up their asses the whole month—then it hit me, smack in the forehead, and I felt like an idiot.

  Bryce and Corrigan were working Neil and Beth. I didn’t know why, but I knew they were. It made more sense. Bryce was always polite to my dad, but never this congenial, and Corrigan, well, he loved his mother so much that baking wasn’t too far of a stretch, but his banter with Beth was flirtatious, not adoringly like he was with his mom.

  Things made more sense. The world was right again. I could relax, not worried I woke up in an alternate universe.

  I didn’t get a chance to ask them their plan until after dinner. Beth made meatloaf—yes, meatloaf—but she topped it off with three glasses of Moscato wine. Neil joined in, and the two were as drunk as skunks. It didn’t take long for the adults to giggle their way down the hallway and up to their room. That was when I shoved back from the table and stood up.

  Both Bryce and Corrigan looked up.

  I jerked my head toward the back door. “Outside. Now.”

  Each wore a guilty expression.

  I snorted. I wasn’t mad. I was just out of ‘the know,’ and that didn’t sit well with me. As I sat in one of the loungers and they took the other two seats, I folded my arms over my chest. “I know you’re doing something. Fill me in. Now.”

  They shared a look.

  Bryce shook his head. “Fine.”

  Corrigan nodded. “Okay.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows onto the table. “We’ve been out here too long. It’s been three weeks and nothing. We need to get you into the city, and we need to do what you always do.”

  My eyes narrowed. “That doesn’t sound like a compliment.”

  Corrigan’s mouth flattened, and Bryce sighed. “Cut it out, Sheldon. You wreak havoc. It’s what you do. We need that again. We need to figure out who’s framing you.” He glanced to Corrigan and seemed to hesitate for a moment. “I can’t speak for Corrigan, but I’ve tried calling Officer Patterson. She won’t return my calls, and she’s never done that. I know Denton’s tried, too.”

  “You’re in contact with Denton?”

  Bryce nodded. “Yeah. He tried to send his lawyers in, but your dad beat him to it.”

  I shook my head. “I thought it was his too, but they were my dad’s lawyers.”

  “Yeah.” Bryce scratched at his head. “I think he said something about that. He wasn’t given a choice, just told to back off or something.”

  Corrigan’s arms dropped and landed on the table with a thud. His eyebrows furrowed together. “Can we skip these pleasantries? Sheldon, Bryce is buttering up t
o your dad, and I’m kissing your new stepmom’s arse.”

  I winced. “Please don’t say that word.”

  He waved that off. “Whatever. We’re doing what we have to do.”

  I pursed my lips together.

  He rolled his eyes at that. “You can be annoyed all you want, but we didn’t tell you because you couldn’t act any different. If we’d told you, you would’ve been a lot nicer.”

  He had a point. Bryce finished for him, “And if you’re nice, they would’ve been suspicious.”

  “I’m not that bad.”

  Nothing. Total silence. They both gave me pointed looks.

  “Fine,” I relinquished. “I’m nice to you guys.”

  They shared another look, but this time both wore small grins. Bryce turned, including me in on that look. “And we love you for it.”

  “So, what’s the plan? Kiss their ass and hope they’ll let you take me to the city?”

  “No. Kiss their ass in the hopes they’ll trust us.”

  I lifted an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

  Corrigan answered, “Hope they trust us . . . enough so they might leave . . .”

  “Your plan sucks.” Bryce held up a hand. “Just wait. There’s more.” I waited. He tilted his head to the side, searching for more. Then his head jerked back, and he slapped a hand to the table. “Like for a date night. We all saw how they were tonight. Maybe they’d go to a hotel for a weekend alone. You know. To get away from all of this?” He turned to both of us. “It’s worth a shot? Right?”

  I snorted, shaking my head. “That plan sucks. My dad’s been on lockdown for years. He’s not going to be talked into leaving for an orgy. No. We need to make them leave.” I frowned, thinking over the possibilities. “I don’t think he’d leave if the lawyers made him go. He’d demand for them to come here. No, the only people he’d leave for would be the police.” I shuddered. “And let’s not re-enact that scenario. The less I step foot into a police station, the better off I am.” No, no, no. Wait. I snapped my fingers. “Explosives.”

  “Uh,” Corrigan started, jerking forward in his seat.