The Insiders Read online

  Tony grunted. “Do we care? Mattson can suck my dick.”

  Just like that, the matter was settled. What the matter had been, I had no clue, but it was decided. The guys went back to the girls in front of them. Tony stood, his hands finding one of the girls’ hips. He raised his chin up toward Matt. “We’re going to move more private.” His eyes flicked to me, back to my brother. “You want to come?” They landed on the girl Matt had been making out with, still standing next to the booth. Matt’s arm had wound around her waist, pulling her against his side.

  Chester scooted to the edge of the booth, but he didn’t stand.

  Victoria’s two friends were still standing at our table. It was clear they were waiting to be addressed by the guys.

  Matt glanced to me, his eyebrows up in a question.

  I didn’t know what “private” meant, so I just shrugged and reached for the drink Matt had had a waitress refill ten minutes before.

  “Nah.” Matt tugged his girl back to his lap. “We’re good here.”

  “Gotcha. See you around, then.”

  Tony tapped the girl on the hip and she led the way, moving off in a seductive sway. Her two friends gazed at Chester a second, but he only shook his head and flicked his fingers at them. “I’m not interested. You all can go and make sure my boy’s taken care of, hmm?”

  They flushed, getting what he was saying, and hurried off.

  One muttered, “Asshole,” under her breath, searing him with a glower.

  He didn’t care, rolling his eyes before addressing Victoria’s friends. “You still here?” He paused a beat. “Why?”

  The blonde sucked in her breath. “You’re such a dick, Chester.”

  He lifted up a shoulder, lounging back against the booth so his head rested against the cushion and his feet were stretched out past the table. He idly scratched at his neck. “That seemed to turn you on last night, Fleur.”

  She shook her head, pointedly turning away from him. “Matt.”

  My brother had gone back to nuzzling the neck of the girl on his lap. He didn’t lift his head, but he did stop in his ministrations.

  “Matt.”

  He groaned, looking up now. His eyebrows moved together. He wasn’t happy. “What?”

  She tried to act impassive under the heat of his annoyance, but shifting on her feet, she dropped her gaze. “Where’s Kash? Victoria’s worried about him. He’s not been gone this long, not for a while.”

  That got Chester’s attention.

  He sat forward, leaning, resting his arms on the table as Matt had been when the three girls first approached. “That’s why you stayed back? To ask about Colello?”

  Matt grinned, a dark amusement lining that smile. He rested his head back against the booth, watching this play out and enjoying it in an almost cruel way. “She stayed back to do Victoria’s dirty work. Didn’t you, Fleur?” Then it was as if he grew bored with this new toy. His eyes flashed his annoyance and he sat forward, reaching for his girl again. “Go away. Stop being Vic’s bitch and asking about Kash. If Kash wanted her to know, he would tell her. Says enough right there.”

  “Matt.”

  His head snapped up again, his nostrils flaring. “Fuck. Off. What don’t you understand about that?”

  Chester stood, almost lazily. “Come on.” He hooked his finger around her hand and tugged her behind him, heading down the walkway. “Let’s go get some shots.”

  Glaring one more time at Matt, she followed behind, her other hand resting over his.

  The last friend remained, looking almost bored.

  “What?”

  She lifted up a shoulder. “Nothing. Just … you know the real reason she’s over here.” Her eyes, like everyone else, darted to me and held there.

  I got it then. Or I thought I did. Chester and Tony might not have cared about who I was, but these three did. The other girls hadn’t. They weren’t in the “club,” as Matt had first explained, but Victoria, Fleur, and this one were. I was here. I was in the booth, and it was obvious I wasn’t here to be a sex play toy to the guys. Since Matt was sitting on the outskirts of the booth, that meant I was someone to them. They just didn’t know who I was.

  Matt had already pushed back at Victoria about me, and he’d pushed hard, but the other was crucified as well. I had a nagging feeling that her asking about Kash wasn’t really asking about where he was, that there were other levels mixed in, other dynamics playing out underneath those words. I wasn’t sure what, but I’d have to learn if I was staying—

  What was I doing?

  I was sitting here acting like I was a part of this world, but I wasn’t.

  I was here because of a threat, but after, I was back to my mom.

  Matt, Seraphina, Cyclone. Could I go back to not knowing them?

  Pain split down my middle, tearing me apart.

  Matt was watching me, his head lowered. “You okay?” I felt his concern, and my God but it was too much.

  It almost unglued everything I had just shoved down and I felt tears coming to my eyes. Blinking rapidly, I jerked my head in a nod, but motioned to get out. “Can I—I have to go to the bathroom.”

  Matt didn’t move, not at first. “Bailey.”

  “Pee, Matt. I have to do it, here or there. I’d prefer there.” I wasn’t looking at him. I couldn’t. He’d see I was hurting, more than he might’ve suspected right now. I couldn’t hold it back. I didn’t know why, but the wall I had tried to erect was gone and I was raw, exposed in that moment. I couldn’t be like that, not here, not among these people. This was the worst place to be bleeding out.

  When he still didn’t move, I dropped my voice to a raw, “Please.”

  He made a soft sound. A break in the music was the only reason he heard me, I heard him, but it was enough. He stood up, carrying the girl with him and setting her on her feet as I rushed past them.

  He reached out for me. I was expecting it, and I ducked my arm and shoulder down, evading his touch. Then I was off. I didn’t know where the bathrooms were, but it didn’t really matter at that point. I just needed to get away. It was hurting too much, knowing I’d have to leave those three, knowing I’d be forced to leave them.

  I shoved through the crowd, only stopping to gape in some much-needed fog, when I knew I’d been swallowed up. No one from that world could see me, and, still feeling the bite of tears at my eyes, I started forward.

  I wandered the club.

  There was a guard on my tail. I saw him a few times. I knew there were another two who had accompanied us into the club, but once we got inside, I hadn’t seen them. They’d been blending in with everyone, but once I got to the higher floor, and as the crowd lessened dramatically, I saw the guard.

  He clipped a nod to me, remaining a few yards away. Coming to an empty table, one in the corner by the exit door, I slid in. I just needed to get away. I needed to wrap my head around things, and only then would I be able to put that wall back up.

  The guard didn’t come forward. He held back, folding his arms in front of him as he took point and watched out for anyone coming and going. Where I was sitting, though, no one was doing that. I had gone as far up as I could and as far inside as I could. I stayed there until I lost track of time. I assumed Matt asked where I was, because the guard took his phone out. It was lighting up from someone calling, and he was only on it for a few seconds before he put it back into his pocket.

  Two staff members came in through the exit door, breezing past me without a second look. I didn’t think they even saw me, though they saw my guard. Both staff paused, checking him out, before walking past. One paused and said something under her breath, but the guard only smiled and shook his head briefly. She started forward, only then looking back over her shoulder and seeing me. Her eyes widened, and her mouth opened, but she kept going.

  A few minutes later, she came back with a drink in hand.

  I watched, expecting her to offer it to the guard, but she didn’t. She sent him a coy smile, go
ing past and holding it out to me. “Compliments from the bar.”

  “Really? What is it?”

  “One of the girls said you were sitting in the VIP earlier. She said it’s the same drink you had down there.” She touched my shoulder lightly, a small smile on her face. “Have your Mr. Tall, Dark, and Delicious nod to me downstairs if you want another. I’ll be watching.”

  I was momentarily stunned, then nodded. “Thank you.”

  The small gesture of kindness was appreciated.

  The guard came forward when she left. He took the drink, testing it first. I waited, and after a few minutes he nodded. “It’s fine.” He handed it back to me. “You can drink it.”

  Thanking him, I sipped the drink, and by the end of it, I was ready to head back. This time, as I went, I got a different reaction. People watched me. They moved aside. Eyes tracked me as they had watched Matt cross the club, and his friends. I got that same reception. It was an unsettling feeling, until I glanced over my shoulder and saw that my guard was closer than I had realized.

  I was pondering that when a hand came out of nowhere.

  I was yanked down a hallway. It happened so fast, I couldn’t react.

  A door was opened. I was dragged inside, then a decisive “Stop!” barked out and the door was slammed shut behind me.

  The light was never turned on.

  I had no idea where I was, but it didn’t matter. I felt him, whoever he was, in front of me. He placed two hands on either side of me, trapping me in place, and as I was frozen, he bent over me. I felt his breath, warming me, teasing me. His body pressed in. He was crowding me. He wasn’t plastered against me, but I was flattened as much as I could be against the wall, still feeling his heat before he spoke into my ear.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  TWENTY-SIX

  I was jarred.

  It was abrupt. It was harsh, and it sent me back to that night.

  I was in that dark room, but I wasn’t. My mind was back there, in my mom’s house, in my room. A hand was over my mouth in my home again.

  I was remembering …

  “Stop fighting and pay attention.”

  Who was here?

  “Bailey.” A sharp rasp. “I asked you a question.”

  I was feeling pulled down, down. I was falling. The smell of that room again, feeling a cold breeze from him as he pressed against me. The sound of his silent footsteps as he caught me before I could run, as he pushed me to the wall.

  “They’re going to think I raped you, and you’ll cry.”

  “Bailey.”

  I looked to the side, but it was just darkness. I could only feel him, sense him. He had trapped me again. A fog was clouding over my mind, dragging me still down, back into my memories.

  I didn’t want to go there, and a whimper left me.

  “Bailey.” Softer this time.

  A hand slid to the back of my neck. His forehead touched mine, and I felt his chest. My hand raised there, touching him, holding him back.

  “I will not let them hurt you. Got it?”

  “Your house. Your territory. Your only shot of living.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath. A hand moved on my neck—not Chase’s hand, but a different hand. Kash’s hand.

  Kash was here.

  I was not there.

  I was safe. Here. With Kash. Not. There.

  His thumb stroking back and forth, sliding up into my hair. A whispered, “Bailey,” before he moved even closer, his head falling beside mine. His cheek against mine, holding there, steady there. Never leaving there.

  I sucked my breath in at the reminder of that night.

  “Shh.”

  A gargled cry had slipped from me. I was moving my head back and forth. It was hard to breathe. Harder still. An invisible pressure was pushing me down. The room was closing in on us.

  I grabbed for him, my hand splaying out. Up. Over his strong chest, over muscles that I was faintly registering, over tight shoulders, around a rigid back.

  He held still over me, above me. His head lifted back and he was watching me. I couldn’t see his eyes, but I felt his gaze.

  I choked out, “Kash?”

  His arms folded around me, tugging me the last bit of space and holding me against him. He buried his head in my neck, his body slightly trembling. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He breathed out against my skin. “It’s okay. You’re safe. You’re safe. It’s just me. It’s Kash.”

  A light turned on.

  His hand came back. He was cupping both sides of my face.

  His forehead was almost touching. His eyes boring into mine. A fierceness in there that had me pausing, waiting.

  “Tell me you’re okay.” His hands tightened on my face. “Tell me, Bailey. I need to hear the words.”

  My mind was spinning. Different thoughts were coming at me, snapping at me. They were quick and harsh and terrifying.

  I paused, my heart pounding.

  I sucked in a shuddering breath. “I’m fine.” I said it faintly, but I was. And I said it stronger, clearer, because I meant it. “I’m fine. I’m sorry. I just—”

  His hands were sweeping back my hair and he shook his head, his forehead moving on mine. “You’re fine. I grabbed you fast. I wasn’t thinking. It’s me.”

  His arms moved more around me, and I could feel his breath. His lips were so close to mine, but then he was talking. “We can talk later. I promise. But first…” He moved back again, the same glittering fierceness coming back. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  “Oh.” I rested my head against the wall, my insides sagging in relief for the moment. “Matt said you called, said Peter was coming back also. Quinn wanted me gone.”

  His hand had tightened as I spoke, until the last part. “The fuck?”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I only lifted a shoulder up and down. “We have security on us…”

  “I know. That’s how I found you. I flew in thirty minutes ago.”

  Thirty. Whoa. He had come straight here from the airport.

  “We’ve been trying to locate the Arcane team after their last attempt. They went underground after losing you.”

  That was—wow. That was just wow.

  “Their last…”

  Last.

  And then, “Their last attempt?” Now my eyes were blazing. “What haven’t you been telling me?”

  A sad look had him dropping his hand, but he didn’t move away. He closed his eyes, standing toe to toe with me. Chest to chest. Forehead resting on mine, and he said softly, “This was their third try.”

  I hadn’t heard that right.

  No way.

  I couldn’t have.

  Right?

  Third. Try.

  Third. Attempt.

  This.

  This was what it felt like to have the world fall from under your feet, because I dropped.

  I was mad. I was pissed, but I was also light-headed.

  Seriously light-headed.

  My knees buckled and my body went down, but Kash caught me.

  “Whoa. Bailey.” He grunted from the surprise and swiftness of it, but then he was swinging me up in his arms.

  “No, Kash.”

  “Shh.” He shifted me, cradling me, and his one hand smoothed back some of my hair. He pressed my head to the crook of his neck and shoulder. “Come on. I’ll take you to my place.”

  I couldn’t process what was happening. My world had been turned upside down for the final time, and I was out.

  The booze might’ve helped.

  I felt him move, kicking the door. It was opened from the other side.

  “Wha—”

  “Call ahead. I want my car brought to the rear. We’re going out that way.”

  Kash was carrying me through the nightclub.

  “Mr. Colello.” An anxious female, maybe a staff member? “Is everything okay? Should I call for an ambulance?”

  “No,” Kash cl
ipped out. “I need a clear path to your rear exit. That’s it.”

  “Yes, sir. Certainly, sir.”

  She rushed off.

  The guard veered in close. I heard him say, “Matt is looking for her. He’s worried.”

  “Matt?” Every inch of Kash went rigid underneath me.

  “I meant Mr. Francis.” A pause. “Sir.”

  “You’ll tell him I have her, and escort him to his own place.”

  “And when he asks where you’re taking her?”

  Kash stopped again, rounding with a snap. “Excuse me?”

  The guard sounded apologetic. “You know he’ll ask, sir. He’ll come around to look for her too.”

  Kash’s voice rumbled from his chest, and he started forward again. “Tell him I have her and I’m taking her back to the estate.”

  “And are you?”

  Kash stopped and pivoted back once again.

  The guard added, “Sir.”

  “How the hell is that any of your business?”

  He waited.

  No answer.

  I lifted my head up. The two were in a stare-off. The guard took me in, and his features tightened. He dropped his face, saying, “She’s cared for, sir. By others now.”

  “Fucking hell.” Kash’s arms tightened under me, his hand digging into my thigh. “You’ll relay my message to Mr. Francis, then you’re relieved for the night, Helms. Don’t come to work for three days. You and I will have a meeting before you’re back on duty. Or, I swear to God, I will drop you right now.”

  I frowned. My head was pounding. I didn’t understand the animosity, but Helms dipped his head in an abrupt nod. “Yes, sir.” One step back, his eyes flicked up to mine, and he was swallowed up by the crowd. He had stood out before, following me from the upper level. Now he hid.

  “What was that about?” I tried to ask. My tongue was heavy, and I mumbled out two of the words to sound like “Whahsssthadabout?”

  Kash shifted his hold on me, lifting me higher so he was back to holding me up with only one arm. He said, roughly, “Nothing. Lay your head back. We’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  “This way, Mr. Colello.” That same female from before.