The Insiders Page 18

  Matt rolled his eyes but dug into his pockets and tossed his keys to Kash. Kash caught them and almost immediately tossed them to someone approaching from the street. It was the security team.

  Kash pointed to the back of our car, and Matt got in. He pulled the door shut, yawning. “And to think you almost missed all this fun. Right, Bailey?”

  But he wasn’t looking at me. I was watching him in the mirror. His head was turned, watching a small group of people who had gathered at the gate and were watching us in return.

  A harsh, clipped laugh from Matt, and he held his hand up against the window. “Look at them. Fucking trash.” He extended his middle finger, still laughing.

  The vehemence in Matt’s tone, the superiority. My stomach curled in on itself again.

  “Who’s the girl?” a guy shouted, gesturing to me.

  Matt raised his voice. “Kash doesn’t give a fuck about you guys. Go and finance your own shit. You’re beneath us.”

  Kash was reversing the car.

  I expected a reprimand, something, but he said nothing. He remained quiet.

  Matt let out a sigh, a last biting laugh leaving him. “You don’t have to say anything, Kash. I have your six. My turn, dude.”

  His turn? For what?

  THIRTY-FOUR

  Kash paused the car at an intersection, his head bent forward.

  When he turned left, Matt burst out laughing. “He doesn’t trust me to be alone at my own place, and he doesn’t want to spend the night with you there. I can’t go to his place. He doesn’t want that, either, so we’re going back to the estate.” He laughed to himself, speaking to himself, “The fucking Chesapeake. Our dad is lame.”

  If he was expecting a response, he would be disappointed. No one spoke. There were things to say, but it wasn’t the right time. After a while, Matt’s deep breathing was the only sound in the car. Maybe I would have fallen asleep, if it had been a normal night, but it wasn’t. I was wide awake, and when we slowed at the gate, it let us in.

  After he parked, I didn’t wait for Kash. I got out, heading for the villa.

  He called after me, coming around to Matt’s side, “Wait for a guard.”

  I didn’t. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Bailey.”

  I slowed, half turned toward him.

  Damn him. A soft request and my knees were melting.

  He added, almost gentle, “Wait for a guard.”

  I waited, but I was gritting my teeth as I did. A car pulled in behind us and three guards got of their own vehicle, another two getting out of Matt’s Lamborghini. Kash nodded toward me. “Two with her. The rest with Matt.” They broke apart. Three bent in, and Matt was shifted in their arms. They all carried him inside.

  I was going to start ahead, now that I had my two bookends, but the main door opened. My father stood there, a deep frown on his face as he took in Matt. He was wearing a robe, a phone in his hand. Shifting back to give them space, he was putting his phone in his pocket, but the screen lit up.

  “Kash.” He called for him before looking.

  Kash was already there, following behind Matt’s guards. He stepped inside and the door was mostly closed, left open only a crack. I couldn’t hear them. They were all the way up the front steps of the house. I could only make out Kash’s face as Peter’s phone was held between them. A second later, the door opened wide. Kash slipped out and approached me. He slowed down.

  I saw the regret a mile away.

  “I have to go and check on something.” He nodded behind me.

  Quiet footfalls were heard. The guards were moving away, giving us privacy.

  “You okay?” His mouth dropped. He rested his forehead to mine, our favorite place.

  “No.”

  A corner of his mouth lifted. “At least you’re honest.”

  I took hold of his shirt, not looking into his eyes. I focused right at his chest. “Who are you? I thought you worked for my father, then you were raised by them, and now all those people…”

  I didn’t want to see the lies, the walls, the reservations. I needed him open.

  I continued. “Those are people who have money, wealth that I couldn’t even fathom before coming here. They were clamoring for your attention.” I gripped his shirt tighter. “I need to know. I need to know who you are.”

  I couldn’t tell him I was sinking. I was so past sinking.

  He raised his hands, cupped my face and tipped it back. Right before his mouth closed over mine, he whispered, “I will tell you everything.”

  “When?”

  “Tonight. When I get back.” He waited a beat. “Or tomorrow. Matt’s going to be handled, and you and I can go to my place downtown. I want alone time with you anyways.” He sucked in some air. “I need alone time with you.”

  Those lips opened over mine, and I stopped questioning. I couldn’t. Lust. Desire. Need. All of those and more, so much more, rose up in me, and I was panting by the time he pulled away.

  A second kiss. A second whisper. “I’ll come to you tonight, later this morning.”

  The guards walked me back to the villa. They went in, had me wait just inside, and once the house was secured, I went to bed.

  I didn’t think I could sleep. I kept replaying everything. The house. The people. The sex. The drugs. Matt’s cruelty.

  “You’re beneath us.”

  I cringed.

  How Matt talked to those people, how his group had been in the farthest back room of the house, as if others weren’t allowed in, weren’t good enough to join. At how he hadn’t been shocked to see Kash at all.

  How Kash knew right where to go.

  What have I gotten myself into?

  THIRTY-FIVE

  I had fallen asleep.

  The sheet lifted and I startled.

  A hand touched my hip, sliding over my waist, and I felt the bed dip under his weight. “It’s just me.” Kash pulled me back to him, lining up his entire body against mine, and he kissed my shoulder. “Go back to sleep.”

  He tightened his hold on me.

  Another whisper. “I’ve got you.”

  Another kiss.

  And I slept.

  * * *

  I woke up hot. Like hot hot. I was panting. A mouth was on mine, kissing, licking, tasting. As I gasped awake, Kash was above me, his hand on my stomach, his mouth on mine, and he was claiming me. Legit possessive alpha claiming. A growl worked up from his throat and he lifted his head, rasping out, “Is this okay?” His hand trailed down my neck, moving south, moving, moving, trailing all the way down and moving aside my tank top like it was nothing. “Please tell me it’s okay.”

  He shifted against me, his erection right there, and hard.

  Desire slammed into my senses and I gasped from how violent my need for him was. “Yes.” I mewled. “God yes.” Moving to my side, I wound my arms around his neck, and his mouth was back on mine.

  I was already a mix of writhing and boneless.

  He was taking from me again, his mouth opening over mine, his tongue sliding inside, and I met him. I matched him, almost clawing to get closer. His hand moved to my thigh. We were both on our sides, pressed smack against each other, and we were both needing. Just needing. My leg moved between his and his hips rocked against mine. There. We paused. Both hissing from the touch. Molten desire speared in me.

  I needed him now.

  Not yesterday. Not an hour from now. Now.

  “Kash,” I moaned.

  “Bailey.”

  All rational thought fled me.

  Impatience and urgency were two very prominent themes happening inside of me now. I slid my hand to my stomach. He was shirtless. So much the better. I rolled my body against him, salivating at the feel of his muscles. They were tight and taut and pulsating with the control he was using. He was holding back.

  I suddenly didn’t want him to hold back. Ever. Most certainly not now, not when I was aching, throbbing. I moved against him, grinding, and he hissed, his hand cla
mping on my thigh.

  “Fuck, Bailey.” He gasped, his forehead going to mine, his eyes searching for me. “I want to…”

  I heard his hesitation. I shook my head. No hesitation. There was no place for that, not in this bed. I started to tell him that, my voice completely wrecked, when he shifted our positions. He rolled me swiftly to my back and rose above me. Pushing my legs apart, he settled between me, and then rocked against me. Once more. Deliciously. Agonizingly. So. Fucking. Slow. I whimpered, biting my lip. My hands formed into fists, and I pushed them against his shoulder.

  “Kash, please.”

  He swooped down, his mouth catching my whimper.

  He caught it and answered back with his own growl, but he didn’t move faster or harder. He held himself up, his arms braced on the bed beside me, and gazing down at me, holding my eyes, looking deep in me, he pushed against me.

  He was wearing boxer shorts.

  I was wearing sleeping shorts.

  Why the hell were they both on?

  I wanted to push at them, rip them off, but he chuckled, his mouth opening over mine again. “Not here.” A soft kiss. “Not when there’s two guards who can hear us.” A hard kiss. “This weekend.” A harder kiss. “At my place downtown.” The hardest kiss, and I caught the back of his head before he could lift up again.

  “Fuck yes.” I lifted up, holding him in place, and kissing him. I was claiming him.

  All those girls at that house last night. Hell no. All those orgies happening. Fuck no. They wanted him. Victoria. Her friends. Whatever was going on there. No, no, no. Just no. A primal thirst had opened inside me, and I wasn’t shutting it up. I was letting it out and I was reveling in it.

  Kash was mine. I didn’t care who tried to take him from me, or who would take him from me. He was mine right now.

  Mine. Just mine.

  And for the next hour, he showed me how much I was his, too.

  THIRTY-SIX

  The whole reveal never happened.

  Kash was supposed to tell me everything. He didn’t.

  I woke late the next morning and Kash was gone. He left a text on my phone.

  Emergency. I’ll be back when I can.

  I didn’t know what the emergency was. No one shared, and no one else acted like they knew. And over the next few days, Kash was gone. Matt left, too, so it was me, Marie, Theresa, and the kids. Quinn was at her charity meetings/functions. My father was around. I heard his voice one day when I was on my computer, set up in Marie’s office. After Kash left, I asked to be let back on, and Marie was okay with it. The fact that it was her who gave me the okay wasn’t lost on me. Ironic. Or karma. Either of those, but I was eternally grateful to her.

  Working on that computer saved me, because those few days turned into weeks.

  Kash was able to return, but only at night, and he’d be gone the next morning. I knew this because he’d wake me up while sliding into bed. If he didn’t wake me that way, he woke me with his mouth on me. He would roll on top of me and take me to new heights, night after night. Or it was night after night, until it became every other night. Then every third night.

  I missed him.

  I loved spending time with Cyclone and Seraphina. I loved being able to work on my security program, and a small part of me was even enjoying the brief moments when my dad would enter Marie’s office to talk to her. I knew she let him know I was behind the wall partition, because he’d get quiet right away and leave. But after a week of this, she stopped telling him. I never moved.

  I sat suspended until he would leave.

  He’d come in for a general report from her. He wanted to know how Cyclone was during the day, what projects he spent time on, his dietary habits even. He would ask about Seraphina. He would ask if she had heard from Matt. He got the layout of how the staff was doing, who was complaining, who was doing well. He liked to praise the ones who worked the hardest, and he would watch the ones Marie said weren’t working. After a week, one of those was let go. After two weeks, a second one was let go.

  He even asked about Quinn, wanting to know when she left, what charities she had mentioned to Marie.

  She told him what she knew. Marie never hesitated or lied.

  The only two people he never asked about were Kash and me.

  It stung at first. I mean, how could it not? A father that I was foisted on. He was gone the first few weeks, then here, and still not talking to me—or about me even. But then again, maybe he asked when I wasn’t around? Maybe he knew I was there? Maybe that’s why he continued to ask her those questions, knowing I was there, wanting, in a weird way, to build a connection to me?

  I didn’t know.

  He just didn’t ask about me. That’s what I knew.

  A month passed, and another couple weeks after that.

  More days spent with my siblings. More nights with Kash. It was now nearing the end of July, and I was missing Chrissy.

  “Heya, lonely sister, but one that’s so much more mature than me.”

  Matt dropped into the chair behind me with a collapsing sigh. His head fell back, his mouth opened, and a full groan left him. “It’s fucking hot.” He rotated in the chair, casting a beady look at Marie, who was sitting at her desk. “I know you like it hot, but would it kill you to put a fan in here?” He gestured to me. “At least for Bailey’s sake. There’s a whole sweat line going down her back.”

  “There is?”

  I shot him a look. “Dumbass. I’m fine.”

  “Doesn’t matter, because,” Matt stood, saying to me, “I came to rescue you.”

  “Rescue?” I was still pissed at him. We had never talked about the sex club night.

  “From Victoria and the German tutor for Cyclone. They have lessons in an hour, and I know Quinn is intending to ask both of them to stay for lunch.”

  Marie piped in, “Mistress Quinn is still here?”

  He nodded at her. “She pulled in when I got here. Called from the car to invite me for lunch.”

  Marie hurried out of the room, the door slamming in her wake.

  Matt smirked at me. He raised an eyebrow. “Want to tell me why you lied just now? I can see how uncomfortable you are, and this room is hot-like-a-sauna hot.”

  More shifting around. I didn’t like this, not a bit.

  “Spill it.” He was scowling.

  I turned back to the computer monitor. “I just don’t want to be a nuisance. To anyone.”

  I was turning the computer off.

  Matt had fallen silent.

  If he had come in to rescue me, I knew he wasn’t going to make me stay for that lunch. Not that Quinn would invite me. She’d been avoiding me as much as I had her, and it wasn’t the first time since I was here that the tutor and Victoria were at the estate.

  They came once a week.

  Marie would pointedly suggest I fix something on her computer, or Theresa’s monitor, or would say they would bring me something to eat in Kash’s villa.

  No one had mentioned their visits, and while I caught the tail end of Victoria leaving once, I hadn’t brought them up, either.

  I turned back, standing up. Then, catching Matt’s face, I froze.

  He was pissed. Seriously pissed.

  “What?”

  “Why do you think you’re a nuisance?”

  Oh God. Where would I start? “Matt…”

  “Bailey,” he ground out.

  He was waiting. His other eyebrow went up.

  “Look, it’s nothing. For real. I don’t want to bug Marie. That’s all.”

  He waited, still studying me.

  I was waiting too. I didn’t want him to push this. It felt wrong to complain to him about his own family, because it wasn’t just Marie or Theresa that I didn’t want to bother. It was everyone. Well, not Kash. I liked bugging him. A lot. Every night. Multiple times a night. An itching was forming under my skin, and I knew that wouldn’t go away until Kash came again. It’d been three full nights since his last visit. I was addicted
to him, needing the feel of him against me to keep going.

  I mean, we barely talked.

  I mean, that wasn’t going to fly all the time.

  But, I mean, it was Kash. He was my fix.

  “You sure that’s all it is?”

  My knees almost buckled from the relief. “Yes. That’s all.”

  He still wasn’t happy, but he was relenting. The look faded, and his smirk showed again. “Want to get out of here with me?”

  I hesitated. “Where? I know what parties you go to, and Matt…” I didn’t want to swim in his depths. “I can’t handle your crowd. I’m not like that.”

  “Like what?” But he was grinning. He knew what I meant.

  “The orgies. The drugs. No, thank you.”

  “I know.” His eyes flashed in an apology. “Look, I’ve been embarrassed. Really embarrassed. What you saw that night, or the other nights. I’m sorry, Bailey. I am. Seeing how you were looking at me, at everyone.” His foot moved back and forth on the carpet. “Kash reamed me out the next day.”

  He did?

  “I woke up and the night came back to me in patches. Jesus, Bailey. You saw me fucking some random from behind. That’s—yeah.” A strangled laugh slipped out. “That’s pretty high up on my list of embarrassments.” His eyes caught mine. “But I wasn’t high that night. I was the other night, but not that night. It feels weird. I just usually start out with people being disappointed in me, you know.”

  He was trying to be funny.

  “Hey.” My throat was closing up. “I’m not judging you. Don’t think that.”

  “Still.” He shoved his hands deep in his pockets. “I want to make it up to you, and trust me, me getting you out of here before Cyclone and Seraphina insist you join the Trio of Terrors is one small way of making things right again. I got a friend who’s in a polo tournament today. You want to go?”

  I wasn’t sure.

  “It’ll be all classy and shit. Wine. Hats. Dresses. Guys who dress up like they’ve got sticks up their asses. The whole shebang. And if you don’t want to hang out in the club area, I know the place the tournament’s at. We own a barn there, and there’s a loft we can sit in. I won’t let anyone up there, if you don’t want them.”