The Insiders Page 15

  But Kash was saying, “I think we’re good. Go get the nurse.”

  The guard left, and Kash pulled up the sheet over Matt. The room plunged into blackness, and a second later we could hear Matt’s deep and even breathing.

  A hand found mine, our fingers linking, and Kash tugged me from the room.

  A nurse was standing in the hallway, coming from the living room. She paused, taking us in. Her eyes enlarged at the sight of Kash, but she didn’t say anything. A faint blush came to her cheeks. I didn’t blame her.

  He stopped, giving her instructions to check on Matt.

  Then we were leaving. Kash went to the elevator. And just as when we were leaving the club, the SUV was waiting for us. We ducked in, slid in, and the vehicle took us to another underground parking lot. We got out, repeated all the same motions, until the doors opened up to what I knew was Kash’s downtown home. This was the one he mentioned before, where he kept all his stuff that he wouldn’t trust around a stranger.

  I was tongue-tied, realizing what he’d just shown me by bringing me here.

  Kash trusted me. When had that happened?

  He dropped my hand when we left the elevator, waiting for the doors to slide shut again. The guard went back down, and Kash was keying in some sort of code. A green light positioned above the frame clicked over to red, then Kash turned and took me in.

  His hair was messed up. There were rings under his eyes, around his mouth. He was exhausted, to put it bluntly. But those eyes were wide awake and filled with lust. They were nearly black as he started for me, stalking to me.

  One foot in front of the other.

  I braced myself, excited, thrilled, and so scared. He paused just before touching me. “We weren’t exactly friendly before I left. That was a week ago. Since then…” His gaze moved up and down me, inspecting me, making me feel naked before him. He whispered, moving closer, his hand coming out to touch my shirt. “Things have accelerated tonight. I need to know you’re okay with that.”

  It wasn’t framed as a question. Or a request.

  I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly drying up.

  Jerking my head in a stiff nod, I wrung out, “So okay with that.”

  His hand fisted in my shirt and he pulled me to him. And tipping my head back, raising my lips—his mouth was on mine.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Fire.

  I expected hot and commanding and that’s what I got. My arms around his neck. My legs around him. The perfect pressure, and I was whimpering.

  Flames enveloped me. Every inch of me was blazing.

  Then he was gentling his kiss, soothing the pressure until the lightest and most tender graze whispered over me.

  Goose bumps broke out over my skin from that last kiss. Holy hell.

  I was panting.

  He was pulling away.

  And then—I was waking up.

  I woke up. It was dark out. My head was foggy, but bits of a conversation were waking me.

  “Yes, we did.… No.… No.” A pause. “She is, yes.”

  I lay back down. God. I had been dreaming about last night, about that kiss. The first kiss. Holy crap. That first kiss had been epic, and I wanted to forget, then experience it all over again. Please. Could that happen?

  A harsh exclamation from the other room. “You want to see her, come and see her.”

  Reality dumped over me like a bucket of cold water. Kash was talking to my father.

  Man.

  Lying there, after that had happened, the last few days, and those words just crept back in. Idol. Father. Then, That guy who hurt my mom. And somehow in the last three days he’d become father again.

  I expelled some air, blowing a strand of hair off my forehead. It went up, paused, and landed back down. Story of my life. Up, up, up, hold, and slam back down. Okay, okay. I was being a bit dramatic, but Quinn’s eviction notice stung.

  Fuck it.

  I sat up, scooting to the edge of the bed, and listened in. It was easy enough to do. Kash had left his door open a crack. Just a crack, but enough. He would’ve heard me if I got up for the bathroom, and the only other course of action would be to fall back asleep, but I was awake. In fact, I was wired awake. I had enough energy bouncing in me to go on a full all-nighter on the computer—and just like that, I was missing working on my code fierce.

  “You might want to remember that it was your wife who asked for her to be removed from the premises.… Yes. Not me. Your wife.” Another beat of silence on Kash’s side. “Gladly. I’d love to have a conversation with Quinn.… What? No. For fuck’s sake, Peter, think about what you’re saying.” He drew in a sharp breath, pausing.

  I could see him through the crack, and as if he felt my eyes, his head lifted. His body went rigid, then he came right for me. I didn’t have time to hide or even fall back and pull the blanket over my body, even with my feet still on the floor.

  He was there, pushing open the door, and everything in him softened. He took me in, those same eyes warming.

  “Peter,” he murmured, the bite leaving him. “Peter.” Nope. It was bit, just a little. “We’ll talk later.” He didn’t say good-bye, just hit the End button and tossed his phone onto an ottoman in the corner.

  Folding his arms over his chest, he leaned his shoulder against the door frame. “How are you feeling?”

  Memories of last night hit me.

  We kissed. We did more than kiss, and Kash was a phenomenal kisser. He was a phenomenal everything. How he touched me. How he whispered to me. How he made me feel loved, worshipped, satisfied.

  My face was heating up, just remembering, and also remembering how I had wanted more. That was a theme by the end of the night. I just wanted more, but we didn’t have sex. After making me groan and moan for two hours, Kash eased back and shifted so he was holding me.

  I fell asleep like that. I wished I had woken, just to experience his arms again. Seeing them now, remembering how firm they felt, my mouth was watering.

  “I’m good.” My voice came out hoarse.

  The corner of his mouth lifted up, as if he was reading my thoughts. “Good. I need to check on Matt. Security called that he’s at another party. We’re supposed to collect him and take him back to the estate. Apparently Quinn is worried about her stepson.”

  “Another party?”

  “This is Matt. If he’s bored, if he’s upset, if he’s unhappy—he parties.” That grin faded. “Look. We didn’t talk about Quinn last night, but you have to know that if you want to be in this family, it’ll be a fight. She’s not going to make it easy for you. None of them will, except Seraphina and Cyclone.”

  Oh. We were going serious.

  “Matt’s been nice.”

  “Matt’s been playing with you.”

  My mouth opened. “What?” No way. “That’s bullshit.”

  His eyebrows went up. His words were hurting me, but he didn’t care. He was putting it out there bluntly. “It’s true. He thought you were a new toy of mine, and he wanted to mess with you like a cat does with a mouse. Then he got wind of your computer skills and put two and two together. But if he’s acting like he cares, he’s lying. He’s playing you.”

  “Why would he do that?”

  Damn. That was burning more than I wished it had been.

  Liability. That’s what I was. No feelings. Right? I could do that.

  I was already failing.

  “To get at your father. Peter’s been after Matt to do more with the company. He doesn’t want his oldest son to be a fuckup—Peter’s words, because that’s what he thinks of Matt. He doesn’t mean it how it comes out, but anyone who’s not doing computer work is a fuckup. Only reason he’s off my back is because I can physically hurt him if I want. Your dad is…” He shook his head side to side, choosing his words. “He’s like a conceited, glorified nerd with power. There’s a nerd in him, but it’s mixed with all the other crap that makes him hard to deal with sometimes.

  “Matt is not a nerd. He’s never b
een a nerd. He’s smart, but he grew up with social skills and getting pussy and—you know the drill. You saw it last night. Peter doesn’t understand his kids. Not Seraphina, who has a heart of gold and is shy, or even Cyclone, who does get the computer stuff. The similarities end there. Cyclone has ADHD, and as soon as he starts one thing, he’s off to another. And now Peter is learning more about the daughter he didn’t have in his life, and he’s not liking it. Matt’s going to capitalize on it. He’s loving that he’s the family member in your ear. Gives him something that Peter wants; it’ll make him back off your brother. Or that’s what Matt thinks.”

  Another one-two punch. Complete with a roundhouse to the face.

  I was done, and down for the count.

  Jesus.

  “Thanks for that.” I cut my eyes to the side.

  “Hey.” That word had me looking up before I could catch myself. Kash’s mouth was pressed in a line. “Peter’s not liking himself right now, because you’re the kid who’s like him the most. And he really hates that you spent the night here with me.” A smirk tugged back at those lips. “And he really, really hates that he can’t order me to stay away from you, because I’m the one protecting you right now. He thinks you’re a kid still.”

  I bristled at that. “I’m not a kid.”

  “You’re a woman, and you’re hot, and you’re smart, and you have a sarcastic side to you that I want to come out more. I like your fight and I like your sass and you gotta cement up those walls if you want to hang in with this world. They’re all wolves, Bailey. They’re not nice like your mom. They’re not Mrs. Jones, who called the police at seeing a mysterious vehicle sitting in your driveway. Yes, I read the police notes. They’re not going to look out for you. The kids, maybe, if they were taught that way. They’re not being taught that way. And Matt, he’s too angry at your dad to see that beneath the layer where he’s using you, he actually is starting to care about you.” He frowned. “But don’t expect him to tunnel down and start acting all nice like. It’s not in him. It’s not the world they come from.”

  They.

  Not we.

  All his words were making me feel raw, but I focused on that one word. “Aren’t you one of them too?”

  He paused, his eyes moving away for the first time since seeing I was awake. “I’m half in, half out. I come from a whole other dark and twisted world that makes your father’s world look like it’s made of cotton candy. And no…” He shook his head, seeing I was about to ask another question. “That’s it for sharing time. Get dressed. We gotta go collect your brother. Again.”

  Well then.

  Consider me yanked up by the bootstraps, a firm pat on the ass, and sent on my way.

  I went to the bathroom, then saw my newly washed clothes folded and waiting for me on the counter, alongside a cup of coffee, and some of that annoyance dissipated.

  Only some of it.

  I didn’t know why Kash even told me what he had, if he was telling the truth about Matt, or how what we did together would play out, but this was the Kash from earlier. Or maybe this was the Kash he had to be when he was in work mode? Maybe? I didn’t know. I just knew I liked the Kash from last night. That Kash—my gaze paused on the coffee—was the kind to bring me a cup of coffee before I even asked.

  Who was I kidding?

  I was in way over my head.

  TWENTY-NINE

  We found Matt in a similar state as the night before, surrounded by his friends, in a tent set apart from the rest of the party. Instead of a nightclub, it was a day party.

  Matt’s eyes were glazed over and his head flipped up when he saw us. “Hey. Look. It’s my family.”

  Kash frowned. “You vomited for a full hour last night.”

  “Yeah.” Matt hiccupped, smiling wide. His eyes were dilated. “Thanks for the IV drip. Your nurse hooked me up and it made me feel good enough, I thought, Why not?” He started laughing, Chester and another friend joining in. “Am I right? Right, Nuts?”

  Chester stopped laughing. “Shut up, dickhead.”

  Matt just laughed harder. So did the other guy friend.

  Chester shot him a dark look. The friend didn’t care. Even the girl laughed.

  I was trying to remember her name. Fleur! It was Fleur.

  How’d I forget that name?

  Chester shot her a look too. “Shut it, PussyPedal.”

  She gasped. “Ass!”

  He lifted a shoulder, smirking. “Karma, honey. Karma.”

  “Kash! Kash!” Matt was ignoring his friends, stumbling over to Kash. Slapping a hand on his shoulder, Matt didn’t notice the look that Kash gave the hand. He was waving a tequila bottle in the air again. “Guys. You all have no idea what Kash does for our family. No idea.”

  “And they won’t, because you’re done.”

  Kash nodded to the guards, and like last night, they went into motion. The girls were herded out of there. Nuts, PussyPedal, and the friend were next. Kash plucked the bottle from Matt’s hand and tossed it outside the tent. It fell, spilling on the ground, but then was snatched up right away. A guard was walking away with it.

  “That’s the second time in eighteen hours that you’ve threatened to spill secrets.”

  It took a second for me to register the quiet warning from Kash, but once I heard it, chills traveled over my spine. I snapped my gaze to him, and there it was. It wasn’t prominent, but it was simmering and it was deep.

  Kash was furious.

  Matt scoffed, his eyes still wild. “Whatever. What secrets? I don’t know anything. Dear old Dad doesn’t share shit with me. You don’t, either. I don’t have a clue what’s going on.” His head was swinging around, swinging, swinging, and it caught on me. His eyes narrowed.

  It was then that I saw it. The mean streak in Matt, the one Kash had warned me about last night.

  “Except her.”

  His eyes were calculating now, a bitter hint just underneath.

  “I know her secret. Quinn hates that I know.” He took another unsteady step toward me, and as I moved back, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up, Kash moved an inch so he was between us. His movement was slight, but it was there.

  Matt kept on. “And Dad.” He threw his head back, a shrill laugh ripping from him. “God. It’s the best. Dad hates that she’s here. Hates it.” He looked back and his eyes narrowed once more, a cruel giddiness showing. “You think you had it bad, Bailey? You didn’t. You had it good. A loving mom. None of the bullshit we deal with. Yeah, yeah, poor little girl whose daddy abandoned her. Right? That’s what you think in your head, but you’re so wrong. Wrong.” His nostrils flared. “You had it good. Like you won’t be secured for life with that brain of yours. Fuck. I bet you could write a program that’ll make millions in just a day. Not me.”

  He leaned toward me, but Kash had inserted himself almost completely between Matt and me. His arm went up. My brother still leaned forward, hate flooding his gaze, the drunkenness and wildness dissipating. “I’m the dumb one. I had the dumb mom. Not this one.” He clamped a hand on Kash’s shoulder, who stiffened underneath it.

  Matt wasn’t done. “Not Seraphina or Cyclone. Shit. Quinn might be a cold prude, but she’s still smart. You know?” He paused again, thinking, and laughed to himself. “No, no. You wouldn’t know, would you? You don’t know anything about us. Nothing. You know our name. You know your daddy, what the magazines and websites and shows tell you about him, but you don’t really know him. There’s so much you have no clue about. No clue.”

  He was fading. He turned, his eyes downward now. “She doesn’t. Does she, Kash? She has no clue about you, about your family, about—”

  “Enough,” Kash said. “You have two choices. Walk out there with us, or get carried out.”

  “Why?” Matt’s nostrils flared as he took one large sniff.

  “Mama Quinn wants a family day.” Kash’s words were short. “All of us.”

  Matt rolled his eyes upward. He swung a hand out again, ges
turing to me. “Not her. She’s not included, and you know it. What are you going to do with her?”

  “Her” was standing right here.

  “She’s coming with.”

  Matt studied Kash, looking at a face I couldn’t see because Kash was still mostly in front of me, and whatever he saw, he began laughing. He slapped his knee. “This’ll be good.” He bobbed his head, mind made up. “All right. You don’t have to knock me out. I’ll come willingly. Anything for those fireworks.” His eyes swung my way on that last word.

  I wasn’t getting a good feeling about this.

  “Let’s go.” Kash stepped farther back, his arm extending toward the tent. He wanted Matt to lead the way, and noting it, Matt mumbled, “Yeah, yeah.” His hand fisted in his hair a second before falling to his side as he headed for the tent’s entryway. Hearing the end of our conversation, a guard opened the flap, and Matt was able to step right through.

  He didn’t wait, veering in the direction of the cars. He had to right himself a few times before walking into someone, but Kash commanded, “Flank him.” And the guards left us alone, hurrying to close ranks about Matt. They steered him toward the cars.

  I was waiting, but Kash didn’t move to follow. He was watching Matt’s progress, still from inside the tent. The flap was being held open by one remaining guard.

  Not knowing what was going on, I started forward.

  Kash caught my arm. “Hold up.”

  “What is it?”

  I wasn’t feeling good about this—or, well, about any of it. Matt was mean, seriously mean. Hearing about it, being warned about it by Kash, hadn’t fully prepared me for what I saw just now. It was like walking on a bed of embers. I had no idea where to step to go forward, and I was starting to become wary about Kash, too. It seemed there were even more secrets he was hiding.

  He closed his eyes for a second, rubbing at his forehead, before he looked at me. There was exhaustion in there, but also the same wariness I was feeling. “I need to know how you’re doing.”

  “With what?”

  He nodded behind me, his hand going into his pocket. “With Matt. His attitude. With what he’s spilling, or insinuating.” A new light shone from him, bright and yearning, and before he blinked it out, he stepped close to me. His head dropped so he could see me better. Only a few feet separated us, so he also dropped his tone and I could still hear. “Matt is more bark than bite, but his bark can hurt. I’ve witnessed it before, and he’s doing it again. These guys…” He looked past my shoulder, his gaze hardening. “They don’t grow up wanting things. They grow up being bored. They don’t have normal worries like the rest of us.”